Ways to Work Together

Therapy can take many forms. Sometimes the work happens one-to-one, sometimes within a relationship, and sometimes in a group.

Whichever form it takes, I approach our work with the same basic understanding: your responses make sense in context, every part of you deserves curiosity and respect, and meaningful change becomes more possible as you develop greater trust in yourself.

Individual

Individual therapy offers time and space to listen closely to yourself—especially to feelings, reactions, or patterns that may have been difficult to understand or welcome.

We might slow down an experience that keeps repeating, become curious about a response that seems disproportionate or confusing, tend to old hurts that are still influencing the present, or experiment with new ways of responding that feel both possible and authentic.

Much of my work is informed by Internal Family Systems (IFS), which helps us approach even our most difficult reactions with curiosity rather than judgment. Instead of trying to eliminate the parts of us that become anxious, angry, withdrawn, perfectionistic, ashamed, self-critical, or overwhelmed, we can begin to understand what they have been trying to accomplish and what they may need now.

Therapy does not have to happen only through conversation. Depending on what feels useful to you, our work might also include walking outdoors, journaling, art, imagery, movement, mindfulness, metaphor, enactment, or other experiential approaches.

I work primarily with adults who want to understand themselves more deeply, develop greater inner trust, and live with more freedom, connection, courage, and authenticity.

Couples

Relationships can bring us into contact with some of our deepest longings—and some of our most vulnerable places. When we feel hurt, frightened, misunderstood, or disconnected, protective responses can take over quickly. One person pursues while another withdraws; one becomes angry while another shuts down; both may leave an interaction feeling unseen and increasingly alone.

In couples therapy, we slow these patterns down enough to understand what is happening within each person and between you. The goal is not to decide who’s right, nor to assume that each partner bears equal responsibility for every difficulty. Instead, we’ll work toward understanding the context, feelings, needs, protective responses, choices, and what those responses set in motion between you.

Together, we may work on:

  • recognizing what happens inside you when conflict or disconnection arises;

  • understanding the protective responses that enter the relationship;

  • taking responsibility for your own experience, choices, and ;

  • expressing vulnerable feelings and needs without abandoning yourself;

  • listening with curiosity without requiring agreement;

  • recognizing and interrupting relational patterns that leave you feeling stuck or disconnected;

  • making room for differences in perspective;

  • navigating rupture, accountability, and repair; and

  • creating new experiences of connection that feel authentic to both of you.

Much of my couples work is informed by Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) and other systemic approaches. These perspectives help us understand not only the individuals in the relationship, but the patterns that develop between them—and how family history, attachment, culture, trauma, and present circumstances may all be participating in what happens.

Healthy relationships are not relationships without conflict. They are relationships in which people can increasingly remain connected to one another as well as themselves, take one another seriously, repair when harm occurs, and make choices with greater freedom rather than from fear or protection alone.

Groups

Groups offer the opportunity to explore ourselves in relationship with other people who are doing the same.

In a thoughtfully held group, we can discover that experiences we thought were uniquely ours are deeply human. We can practice speaking honestly, being seen, setting boundaries, taking relational risks, navigating differences, and staying connected to ourselves while connecting with others. We also learn through witnessing—seeing the courage, protectiveness, vulnerability, humor, and wisdom in other people can change how we understand those same qualities in ourselves.

I approach groups with particular attention to trust, consent, pacing, and respect for each person’s process. Participation does not require sharing everything, moving faster than feels right, or having a particular kind of experience. Much of the learning comes from noticing what happens inside us as we participate—and having space to become curious about it.

Depending on the group, we may draw from Internal Family Systems, the Enneagram, Family Constellations, Circles of Trust, experiential exercises, writing, art, movement, poetry, ritual, or other ways of exploring and making meaning.

Groups may be short-term or ongoing, and their structure varies according to their purpose. Current and upcoming offerings can be found on the Group Events page.

Retreats

Stepping away from ordinary routines can create a different kind of space for reflection, connection, play, and renewal. Retreats give us time to slow down, listen more closely to ourselves, and notice what becomes possible when we are temporarily outside the patterns and demands of everyday life.

From time to time, I offer or collaborate on retreats that draw from many of the same approaches I use in therapy and groups, with room for experiential work, creativity, nature, rest, and relationship. As always, the intention is not to produce a particular experience, but to create conditions in which something genuine can emerge.

Couples Retreats at Tula Vida Ranch, Costa Rica

I occasionally offer couples the opportunity for more spacious, focused work at Tula Vida Ranch in Costa Rica. Contact me if you would like to learn more about possibilities for a couples retreat.

Tula Vida is also available for independent personal retreats and hosts a variety of offerings year-round.

In the Beyond Women’s Retreats

I sometimes partner with IFS lead trainer Terrilee Dalton for women’s retreats in Olympia, Washington and other locations. Visit the In the Beyond website for information about current offerings.